Tag Archives: music

The music inside

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I was conducting a training last week on working with LGBTQ youths in the child welfare system, and part of the training was a panel discussion.  A local support group for LGBTQ teens had some of their group members who were willing to come speak to us about life, coming out, and self knowledge from their own perspective.  One of the young men shared a story with the group about attending a PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting.  This young man was at the meeting, and a man came to the meeting who is in his 70’s.  That older man, for the first time in his whole adult life, came out as a gay man at that PFLAG meeting.  The older man stated in that declaration:  “I don’t want to die with the music still inside of me.”

 

You could have knocked me over with a feather when I heard that statement.  Not just in the power that it held for that man, in that moment and all of the moments that led up to that decision making time.  Sure, the power of that was unmistakable.  However, the other powerful element of that story speaks to those that live in silence about who they really are, afraid to be open, afraid to share or reach out truthfully, and the circumstances under which many LGBTQ youths live.  It speaks clearly to the fears about coming out and having supports available to them. 

 

We all have such music inside of ourselves, symphonies that we have created by the lives that we live.  Colors of talent and gifts and strengths, love and faithfulness and hope and joy.  We have soulful melodies filled with angst and heartbreak and misunderstanding and deep sadness.  The variety that resides there within us is endless, and it is essential that we recognize our creation of these symphonies.

 

However, just like when we enjoy a piece of music, or a good movie or book, we like sharing it with others.  It speaks to what we like, what strikes a chord with us, and how those things connect us with others around us.  That music that we carry around and are constantly revising and creating deserves to be unleashed on the world.  For in being who we are truly meant to be, and in showing that beautiful self to others, that is what it is to truly live.

 

Don’t keep that light under a bushel.  Set the symphony inside yourself free for the world to hear.

 

What inspires me?

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I have been thinking about my answer(s) to this meme question for days now…….. thinking, thinking, and thinking, which should come as no surprise to those that know me.  So, I have made a list, although exhaustive, I am sure by no means complete.  So, here it is….

*Children:  From newborn babies to grown ups who are children, the wonder, the awe, the discovery, and the beautiful innocence of children inspires me, and reminds me that God does really exist.

*Nature:  Birds, bees, trees, rocks, ocean, river, woods, every bit and part of it.  From the tiny pinecone that I find in my yard, to the mighty bears that I know wander our woods, to the new baby bunnies that are born every year, and the leaves that we pick up in the fall to admire their vibrant colors.  Nature, in all of its splendor, inspires me to remember what I am REALLY connected to:  the earth.

*Feelings and emotions:  I am such a FEELING person; it is what I do first when meeting someone; I FEEL them and their energy.  I am not able to just meet someone, and have it be a surface experience.  Of course, it doesn’t mean that the feeling is always positive, but it is like seeking and connecting with a soul; really trying to be where that person is at; having a compassion and connection to another’s reality.  I cry easily, and I let the tears be my guide as to what I need to process or focus on; I allow myself that free expression and it hardly ever steers me wrong.

*LOVE:  This one is a biggie for me.  I love to express love; love to feel love; love to remember on a daily basis that above all else, Love is what we are all about, it is why we are here, it is why Jesus was on this earth, it is why we have the will to go on.

*Faith:  I can walk into a house of worship, or sit by the sea, and realize how mighty and grand God really is.  In those moments, I can feel His presence the strongest, in those parts of connection to my spiritual self where His presence just cannot be missed.  I have such a strong faith that EVERYTHING that happens to me and those I love is for a reason, a reason I may not always understand initially, but one that always comes to be known.

*Family:  My immediate family, my family of choice, my extended family and my in laws, as well as those that have come to mean the same to me as “family” that I have met over the years.  My family members inspire me in so many diverse ways, in their ability to persevere, to cope, and to be there for one another. 

In a nutshell, I would have to say that what inspires me is LIFE.  Each moment, each breath, each grain of life that we savor and experience, whether joy or sorrow, is an inspiration to me.  When I really stop to think about the fact that I stand here, I exist, I breathe, and there is only a breath that separates me from here, and death, I am in total awe of the vastness of that.  And, I become inspired, and humbled and moved. 

We are just so lucky to be here…. and moreso, to be here TOGETHER…….

Happy is a yuppie word…….

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I really love this band, Switchfoot.  They are supposedly Christian in their message, which could be true, to me it just sounds humanistic and universal.  They sang a song two years ago that helped me when I was struggling a lot, “I Dare you To Move”; I felt compelled to do SOMETHING, based somewhat on that song.  Make some decisions to try to get my life moving in a better direction.  Well, I listened, and I moved, literally and figuratively.  The lessons came, some days in a flood, other days just a drip like a leaky faucet.  But the lessons were always there.

I learned so much in that two years, as I have since then, and I have written about that many times on this blog.  One of the main lessons that I learned was in regard to happiness;  what is that, anyway?  What is happiness, is it a fleeting thought of some sort, a song, a person, an event?  Is that what I have been striving for all of these years, or is what I am seeking more substantial than that?

 

What brought about the subject in the beginning of this post, the subject of Switchfoot, is a song that they sing on their CD, Nothing is Sound.  BTW, if you ever care to take a listen, they are definitely the type of band meant to be listened to as loud as you can tolerate; my favorite way is in the car, windows down, volume UP!!!!  The song that they sing is “Happy is a Yuppie Word”; I listened to this song many times, before it came to possess meaning for me, significant meaning anyway.  Happy, has become for me, just the surface of what it is that I am looking for.  I am setting my sights quite a bit higher than that; I aspire to not just be happy, but joyful.  To me, happy just doesn’t cut it; and what it seems the lyrics in the song refer to is that the concept of happiness seems like an entity to acquire, like a new SUV, an addition to the house, the best private school and finest dining.  It is a shining gem that we want to capture and possess.

 

Joy is not to be possessed in any way; it is meant to be embraced, experienced, consumed.  Joy fills us from toes to skull, with a warmth, an intensity, a longing for peace and contentment.  It is not fleeting, and it does not come easily.  Well, it comes as easily as being willing to love oneself.  But we all know how easy that doesn’t come……………

 

So, that’s it.  To me, happy is a yuppie word.  And, I want to speak a more evolved language than that; I am out for the joy……. pure and unrestricted JOY………