Two weeks ago was moving day. It was the official day that my love and I moved in together, along with my teenaged daughter. Although we had spoken about doing it for quite some time, we decided to make the move a year earlier than planned.
It is interesting to me all of the details related to moving from one home to another, even when they are anticipated. I felt sadness, at leaving my previous home, as did my daughter and my partner. For the last two years, my daughter and I had done many things to make our apartment our home. We had filled it with our favorite belongings, laughed and cried there, and had adventures and mishaps. I had become my own person there, fell in love, and grieved the ending of my life as I knew it. My daughter had grown from an early adolescent to a confident young woman.
Then there were the subtleties of moving into what I perceived as another person’s space. Even though we discussed how we wanted our home to be a complete blend of the three of us, I still had my thoughts trying to convince me that it was my partner’s home, and my daughter and I were moving into it. Even though I have spent almost a year, feeling completely at home in it, it didn’t feel like mine. Until, I made it mine, and my daughter made it hers. Not just by bringing our things into it physically, but also, by having a vision of how we wanted it to be. BEING in it as our true selves.
So much about any life transition, even if it is a new and exciting one, is about open and loving communication. Although our home is a space for all of us to feel connected to and comfortable in, we have created space that is individualized to each of us. We have talked about where to hang things on the wall and which coffee mugs to use. I have cleared some items away that no longer speak to me, and have special items that have to be in a certain place. Through all of that, the three of us are communicating, and learning, about one another and what being in the same home really means.
One of the greatest areas that I am gaining understanding throughout this journey, is that the more often that I make up stories in my head, of what is going on in a situation, instead of asking and communicating, the more that I create misery for myself, and for others around me. In this love, and in this home, I get to keep learning about others, about me, and how unique we all get to be in this life. And, that the love that we bring to here will be what sustains and nurtures us.