Monthly Archives: July 2011

Learning to profoundly say yes, and, no.

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This concept has recently come more acutely to my attention, by the President of the Handel Group,during one of our training calls. In order to live our dream lives, and feel inspired and happy in all of our life areas, we need to get really good at speaking our yeses and no’s profoundly.

That made so much sense to me, and I knew right away that it was something that I needed to get better at doing. For most of my life up to this point, I have not been very effective at saying no. Or, at saying yes for that matter. I have often said yes to things that I was too scared to say no; and avoid saying no to something by not following through. I have never felt particularly profound in the answers that I have given.

However, I am living my life much differently now. My time is precious to me, and I am honoring it in deep ways. Therefore, what I say yes, and no to, has to be thoughtful and deep as well. So, when I am planning my life, creating my promises, and going toward that which I most desire, I want it deeply. So, I say a profound, unwavering YES. Yes to my workouts and my dream body. YES to my deeper relationships with my family. YES to a relationship with money that I am proud of. And, what I am learning about more each day, is that with each profound YES that I speak, and live, I must say a profound NO to something else.

The types of things that I say NO to today, are things that are not the best ways to spend my time, like NO to excessive time on line; NO to avoiding calls with my family and friends; NO to not living within my budget; NO to ways that I spend my time. When I add something profound, deep and meaningful, I need to take away what is not directly related to my journey toward my dreams. I am getting more clear, solid and committed to what is most important and meaningful to me.

I am ready, I am focused, and committed to living my life in line with what I truly desire. I am saying YES, I am saying NO, with pride, confidence and love.

Discovering my mission.

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Over the last eighteen months, I feel like I have been on an expedition, almost like an archaelogical dig. I have been digging deeply into myself, and finding treasures that indicate, and prove, that life once existed there. That there can be gold and gems below the surface. That even if life continues on, and builds on top of what once existed, it doesn’t mean that it was never there.

I have always, since I was a small child, had a desire to truly change the world. To help to heal those that suffer. To fix what is broken. To show to others what is the true meaning of what they seek. And, for much of my adult life, my attempts at changing the world, hell, at SAVING it, were often in vain. They were ways for me to prove to myself, or to others, that I held value and worth because I was able to lead someone out of the darkness.

I wanted to be the superhero in the story.

Today, after my expeditions so far, I have narrowed in more distinctly on truly why I am here. On what my true meaning and purpose here is on this earth. My purpose is to indeed, change the world. That purpose is to be fulfilled through connecting with other human beings, sometimes, one at a time. It is a mission that will go forward by the steps that I take. However, I have adjusted my intentions in that mission ever so slightly.

Today, instead of the desire to be the hero, the messenger, the expert in how to improve lives, my mission is to be a guide. To invite the questions, welcome the inquiries, and then serve as a guide for others who are seeking their own dreams. It is not my mission, nor my wish, to show others the way that must work for them. It is not to deem myself heroic, or an expert in some way. My mission is to guide others back to themselves, and to assist them in finding the answers that will help them achieve every dream that they hold in their hearts. A guide toward a higher level of awareness, of being, of light, love and peace.

That is my mission.

“It’s not the dragon that you have to slay…….”

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Last week, I received this message from my notes from the Universe. It often speaks directly to what I am experiencing, envisioning or manifesting when I read it, and it always puts me back in a place of true perspective. This particular message was the following: It is not the dragon that you have to slay, it’s the fear of the dragon.

Interesting, and so very true.

I am on the verge of graduating from my Coach in Training program through the Handel Group. In meeting this amazing group of humans, and getting down to the business of design a life that I can fall in love with, I have found my dream career, dream body, and am building deeper and closer relationships. One of the parts of my vision is to develop deep, loving relationships with each of my clients. I was assigned four new paying clients this past week, and I was riding the wave of dream making and then got arrogant. I had one intro call and totally blew it, by talking about myself first, giving a bio of sorts, and not asking the client what it was she was looking to work on.

That is a trait of mine, being sneaky as all hell, trying to turn my beautiful dream right on its head.

And, in the days since this happened, I have turned it over and over in my mind and in my heart, to find the source and to put steps into place to avoid the trappings of that trait easily again. It is my Me, Me, Me trait, that wants to be the center of attention, the expert, the one to watch, and all of that. Fun, right? Well, not fun when it undermines my dream, and in investigating it a bit, I discovered in myself why I let that bugger sneak in when I get close to having my dream.

FEAR. It really is that simple. I get scared that I am going to be great, and have dreams in all of my life areas, and have deep connections with others, and a rocking body, and great friends, and I get scared shitless. And, Me, Me, Me can’t wait to kick into overdrive then; and talk about myself to fill the silence, to feel better, to find a way to avoid just being scared and going for it anyway.

So, my dreams are really the beautiful, green and blue scaled dragon, who breathes fire and has such intensity, drive and heart that I want to be the dragon; I want to be in the midst of the flames. And, the fear of those dreams keeps me stuck and lets those negative traits run the show.

Well, I have decided that it is high time that I leash that trait tightly, because I don’t want to waste any more time in going after my dreams and designing my brilliant life. Today, I go toward the dragon and realize that it is my own greatness which scares me the most, and that will bring me the most open heart and fulfilling life.

Remember, the dragon is where we want to go toward, and we need to not let our fears keep us from what we really want. No matter what.

Celebrating the love!

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I spent this past weekend in New England, celebrating my parents with my siblings, nieces and nephews. It was truly a weekend filled with love, purpose, honor and great stories. I cherished every moment and felt deeply sad when it was over.

My parents have been married for fifty years. In that time, they have raised five children, they have buried their parents, buried a child, stayed up late waiting for us to arrive, and moved us to new locations where life would surely be better. They have struggled with their own health, the health and well being of their children, and their grandchildren. They have had conflicts with each other, and with each one of us. There have been dozens of variables over the years. The one thing that has remained constant throughout it all, has been the love that is present.

You see, I have always known that my parents love me. Even though there have been times when I told myself they were not happy with my decisions, or what I was doing in my life, I knew deep down that they continued to love me through it all. And, I feel so blessed in the fact that I have always known that, my whole life, because they have told me, and they have shown me that love.

The love that they have given to us has been passed down to all of us, their children and grandchildren, and because of that legacy, we pass it on as well. We are all parents, my siblings and I, and we all understand the importance of loving our children, caring for them, keeping them safe when we can, and guiding them as brilliantly as possible.

We all hate the idea of letting go.

Yet, our parents let go of us when the time was right, and we all became beautiful, loving and caring adults. The weekend was filled with big stories, and small stories of the lives that we now have woven together in our own areas of the world. Of the struggles that we still experience and the hope that our lives can always get better. Our parents, my mom and dad, have helped us to see that and to believe it over the years.

I don’t know if I will ever be married, and I am not sure if it will be for fifty years’ time. What I do know is that as I go forward in my life, I will always remember and cherish the love that has been given to me, and am grateful that I understand how to keep giving it in return.